Available Now: The Marriage Curve

And now for a little Christian Erotica.

Blurb:

Jaylyn Sanders is a church girl. She grew up a church girl and expects to remain a church girl long after she’s dead and chilling in Heaven.

Zeke Malone is a billionaire philanderer whose good looks and charm can lure any woman he wants into his bed. Except Jaylyn. Knowing he's on the verge of losing her forever, Zeke does the one thing he vowed he’d never do again. He agrees to attend church with her. After all. How bad could it be?

Turns out, it’s worse than he’d imagined. The secret he’d been hiding from her for years is brought to painful light. Unafraid to call him out on his mess, Jaylyn issues a challenge Zeke knows he should refuse. He tries to call her bluff, but they end up in Vegas and married. She treats him to an explosive honeymoon night proving that everything he’d feared about the marriage bed was unfounded.

However, outside the bedroom, neither of them can figure out how to be married in general nor married to each other in particular.

Can Jaylyn and Zeke survive The Marriage Curve?

This is an erotic romance.



Excerpt:
"Eyes front."

If they'd been in public, he might have felt a bit of remorse being caught staring at a woman's breasts. Given that they were alone in the car, he continued to stare. He also knew it would chip away at her defenses. He'd decided that his best offense here was to let her know as often as possible how much he desired her.

"Why? The view's pretty good right here." He turned in his seat to rest his back against the door so he could have a more full on look. They were definitely bigger than he remembered. But not surgery bigger.

"What was I thinking? Why is it that you can't manage to behave for five minutes?" She shot a glare his way. "Seriously, Zeke. We're on our way to church. Can't you curb the harassment for one morning?"

He frowned and shifted his gaze upward. "Harassment? Most women would be flattered with the attention. I find you attractive. Why shouldn't I let you know it?"

"Perhaps you should set your sights on one of them." She looked his way. "And you have let me know. Again and again. And again. The horse is dead already. Quit beating it."

Wow. He couldn't do anything right with her. "Fine. Would it make you feel any better to know that I was just wondering why your breasts are bigger?"

Her jaw dropped and she stopped at a green light. "You're kidding me, right?"

He shrugged and resettled himself in the seat. "The light is green," he pointed out. He waited until she put the vehicle back in motion before continuing. "No. I'm not kidding."

"That's not something you remark on in polite company."

"That's why I brought it up now instead of waiting until we got in the church foyer. So, what gives?" He looked at her face to await her answer. He could see her gritting her teeth and felt a little twinge of satisfaction. It was much better that she be furious with him than to feel nothing at all. Besides, a little fury made for some great sex.

He frowned as a truly horrifying thought struck him. The seat. The swollen breasts. Oh crap! "You're not pregnant, are you?"

Her jaw dropped for a second time and she looked at him again. "I'm trying a new bra," she ground out. "Is that okay with you?"

Relief washed over him. He smiled. "Aw. You really shouldn't have gone to so much trouble for my benefit. I've always enjoyed your rack." His eyes flicked downward again. "Though I must say I do appreciate the effort."

"What effort? There was no effort! Especially not for you."

He just smiled and winked at her, which increased her fury. He loved getting to her like this. It went a long way toward evening the score of how much she got to him. "If you say so."

Buy now at Amazon

Available Now: Thwarting Cupid

You need a little fantasy romance in your life.

Blurb:

When good cupids go bad...

Carissa Langston is a perfectly lovely woman, so she can't figure out why she's always been single. The higher ups at Cupid Headquarters are wondering the same thing.

What none of them knows is that Quincy, her assigned cupid, fancies himself in love with her. He doesn't think anyone will ever be good enough for her--especially not that James "Hutch" Hutchington person. Who cares if the man is really Carissa's soul mate?

When Carissa and Hutch run into one another after years apart, sparks fly. Quincy does some fancy cupiding to keep them apart--no matter the cost. Can Carissa and Hutch thwart cupid and reach their happily ever after?

WARNING: Cupid hijinks, sexy chemistry between soul mates, and adult content.


Excerpt:

It was obvious that Carissa was starting to buy what Hutch was selling. Quincy needed to do something. Fast.

He took note of a street performer setting up a bit further down the block. The guy was a scrawny kid with wild, shaggy hair that was an impossible shade of red. Artsy tattoos covered his neck and arms. His shirt was threadbare along the edges and his jeans were skinny and tight. Quite an impressive feat considering how small he was.

Quincy kept one ear tuned to Carissa and James, but the rest of him focused on the kid. The black case he’d set on the street had ‘Dragon’ written on the side in flame-like letters. What was this kid going to…Oh!

Quincy flinched along with several other passersby when flames shot out of the kid’s mouth. The next time he did it, the spectacle was a barely-controlled fireball. Nearby pedestrians jumped and gave him wide berth. The kid smiled and shot another flame their way. He never opened his case for people to give him money, so Quincy surmised that he just enjoyed scaring the crap out of people.

“So, just like that. You’ll go to Italy with me?” Quincy tuned back in to James and Carissa’s conversation. Whoa. How’d they get from her being ticked at him to going to Italy together? His multitasking skills needed some serious work.

“Why not? I’ve never been. And I have tons of vacation time accrued. Let’s do it.”

“And you’ll stick to my itinerary? No complaints whatsoever.”

“None at all. I’ll just be along for the ride.”

Not if Quincy could help it. He pulled an arrow from his quiver and pointed at the fire breather. Once he had the man’s subconscious attention, he beckoned him toward the not-to-be couple. On the way, the kid stuck his head between two passing girls and burped up another flame. They screamed and ran. That caught James and Carissa’s attention.

“We should go,” Carissa urged. James glared at the kid, but began walking the other direction, hand in hand with Carissa. Oh no. This would not do.

“Whassamatta, Chief? Kitchen too hot?” Quincy swirled the arrow, drawing the fire breather closer.

“Ignore him,” Carissa said to James and walked faster. Quincy noted how the man fought to make himself go along with her wishes. How cute. He wanted to take a stand. A couple more pushed buttons might make things interesting.

Quincy waved the arrow at the traffic signal. The pedestrian signal turned to ‘don’t walk.’ James and Carissa came to an abrupt halt while cars began to whiz by. That gave the fire breather a chance to catch up.

“What’s a sexy African queen like you doing with this uptight old white dude?”

“Walk away, man.” James warned. Huh. Quincy underestimated the guy’s stones. No matter.
The kid blew some flames their direction. “Or what?”

James pulled Carissa around behind him so his body was between hers and the fire breather. Before Quincy could determine just how big James’s stones were, there was a shout a few feet away.

“Police! Stop right there!”

James, Carissa, Quincy and the kid all turned to see two cops running at them. The fire breather recovered first.

“Shit!” He pushed past James and Carissa to make his escape. James launched himself at the guy and brought him down with a hard tackle. When they hit the ground, another fireball shot from the kid’s mouth--right in James’s face.

Buy now on Amazon

Book Trailers

Here's the trailer for Thwarting Cupid:

I'm getting better. Check out my trailer for Royal Opposites:

And the trailer for Secret Bodyguard:

Royal Opposites!!! It Has a Home.

 So excited that Royal Opposites has a found a home with a publisher. It's now available at Astraea Press, Barnes & Noble and Amazon.com.

For more information, contact me at loribethcrawford@yahoo.com

Here's an excerpt from Royal Opposites:

“I do believe I owe you my life,” the man stated, never taking his eyes off her face.

The over-the-top line snapped her out of her awe. She wrinkled her nose. “A bit too dramatic, don’t you think?”

The smile left his lips, but stayed in his eyes. And she’d thought that weapon of his was lethal before. He wasn’t an amateur at using it, either.

“Perhaps,” he agreed, but she got the feeling he was just telling her what she wanted to hear. Unless he was a complete drama queen, he seemed to believe something else was behind his treatment from earlier. She didn’t know where it came from, but she had the undeniable urge to reassure him.

“I could be wrong, but I don’t think you’re the first customer who’s been cheated out of  money by that bank.”

He frowned at her. “What do you mean?”

Joan dropped her gaze to study the dark polished wood of the table between them. Did she dare tell him about her stupidity? That would make a great impression on the sexiest man she’d ever seen in her life. Who was she kidding? Great looking guys didn’t go out with frumpy chicks like her. Stupid or not. “I haven’t figured everything out, you know, with all the running away and stuff, but I’ve had the same conversation with them almost word for word.”

Amazon Sales Tracking

Okay...So I just found out about this site that will track my book sales on Amazon. Gotta admit, it's kinda depressing at the moment because it says that none have sold. I just have to give it time to update because I've had people tell me that they bought it within that period. Not to mention the fact that I've bought several myself.

Anyway...here goes!

Let's see how this goes! 

Standing My Ground

Free Shopping ain't always easy, but I learned to stand my ground last night.

I started off the evening at CVS. That trip was actually pretty fine. Other than me being a doofus and misplacing a crucial coupon. I sat out in the car until I located it. Naturally, it wasn't raining when I parked. By the time I found the coupon, it was pouring. So I'll take responsibility for that one.

Rite Aid and Walgreens, not so much.

I headed to a new (to me) Rite Aid since I'm just starting to learn their system to finish purchasing enough Proctor and Gamble items to earn a $35 gift card. I had the perfect scenario planned out.

4 Nyquil - 15.96
2 Puffs - 4.98
Total - 20.94

Minus
$5 off $20
$8 Nyquil mq
$4.98 Puff mq
$2 Wellness Q

= $.96 oop.

Get back the Nyquil $1 SCR and the $20 purchase puts me over the top for the $35 P&G rebate.


Then the State of California had to go and screw up this perfect shopping trip. It would seem that in the War on Drugs, they have limited the quantities of over the counter medication a customer can buy at one time. In this case, the limit was 3 small bottles of Nyquil.

Okay, I understand that some folks are out there making what have you with the ingredients found in cold medicine. However, my coupon stated that I needed buy 2 of them to get my Puffs for free. And darn it! I want my Puffs!!

Now that I'm an inch from panicking because not only does it screw the Puffs deal, I didn't want to burn a $2 coupon on a 3rd Nyquil if I'd need it later to get my Puffs, so I had them take off the 3rd Nyquil completely which left me with a new problem. My total was now $9. It needed to be $20 before I could use the $5 off $20 coupon.

So back into the store I went. I had $11 dollars to fill with items that I had other coupons for so I could keep my out of pocket low. Since I've changed my organization method a bit, it meant that most of my current coupons were in the car and it was still pretty rainy out.

Deals were pretty hard to spot. Mostly because there weren't many. Even the clearance makeup, my old standby, was gone. I had coupons for Hefty bags, but the didn't even sell Hefty. What is that about? I thought about getting some Tide, but my coupons were in the car.

Then I remembered that I still had my $3 off 2 Pantene coupons with me that I hadn't used yet. Granted, I have tons of shampoo already, but I will eventually use it. And it was part of the P&G deal, so I went for it. Four more bottles brought my total up enough to use the $5 off $20.

After all was said and done, the replacement transaction only cost me 2 pennies more than the original so overall that was fine. It also pushed me over the top for my $35 gift card. I was a happy camper.

For two seconds.

Currently, Rite Aid has a sweepstakes going called the Game of Life. You earn game pieces with every purchase. Unless you are purchasing certain items. Then you get bonus game pieces.

After that final transaction, the cashier only handed me 1 game piece when I was supposed to get 5. She pointed to the receipt that indicated only 1 piece had been earned. I pointed to the ad that clearly indicated bonus pieces would be earned for the shampoo and that I had 4 bottles.

We stood there and went round and round about it until another manager came over. I showed him the ad and he agreed with me. And she still wouldn't give me the pieces. He explained it to her then went to check out another customer. Finally she understood that she was supposed to give me more, but not how many. He held up four fingers and she handed them over.

A totally simple shopping trip went completely awry. And the evening was not yet finished.


After Rite Aid, I went to Walgreens to do the Pepsi deal one more time. The 12 packs were on sale 5 for $15 and the 2 liters were 4 for $5. When you buy $20, you get $10 back in register rewards. Pretty good deal. Especially when combined with diabetic meters that were free after a manufacturer coupon and giving a $5 overage when stacked with a store coupon.

Even though it sounds complicated, it was a pretty simple transaction. Unfortunately, this store didn't have the meters on the floor. They were in the pharmacy. So that's where I checked out.

Neither pharmacist realized that the manufacturer coupon needed to be adjusted from $10 to $9.99 because that was the sales price of the meter. The store coupon came off fine. So did the other register rewards. The problem came at the end.

After I paid, the register reward didn't print. The pharmacist who'd helped me was already walking off. I stopped him and told him the problem. He gave me this look and said, "just for that?" Uh. Yeah. There's no reason for me to shop here otherwise. He tried to tell me the standard lie that it didn't print because I'd used register rewards to pay for the purchase.

Except, I didn't use the RR I'd gotten from the Pepsi deal when I'd done it on Sunday. That would have stopped a second from printing. He called the manager over. He tried to tell me the same thing. I pointed out the other RR that I'd gotten from doing the deal in the exact same way and he tried to ring it up again. Nothing printed.

Still, I wasn't leaving without my RR. That was the whole purpose of the trip. The manager switched to another register and rerang the transaction without the meter and the coupons. The reward printed fine. I wanted him to do everything so they could see that the coupons didn't effect the printing.

The paper actually came out a little bit from the first machine. It was just blank. Then they had to change the paper. Seriously? And you guys still think it was because of the coupons?

The manager just handed over the RR that finally printed and I left. I still have the feeling that my out of pocket was too high. I'm going to try to let it go, though. After all, I'm going to be selling all this stuff to earn money for my trip to Sweden this summer. Time to move forward with the plans and quit looking back.

Powerful Wisdom from Will Smith

A friend posted this on Facebook and it's amazing.